A break in the action

J has started a lacrosse clinic at school. I know - isn't that ridiculous? A kindergarten lacrosse clinic (to be fair, pre-first and first graders are involved too). Can't you just picture tiny girls with lacrosse sticks as big as they are running around a field, falling down and whacking each other in the head?

I always thought I would wait to put J in any kind of sport because I felt that parents who put their kids on teams before, say, second grade were pushy and overly ambitious. They are the kinds of parents who use flashcards for reading and math on their toddlers, and want their children to grow up bilingual. Don't they know all that time spent cheering on their 6-year-old from the sideline could be spent sitting in front of the TV, eating Cheetos, and yelling, "Hey! Don't set your hair on fire! Come pour Mommy a glass of wine!"?

As much as I work with J outside of school, I just never saw myself as that pushy parent. And yet... When J started at this school, I knew there would be some pressure to keep up with the Jonses, and I was not far off the mark. I just didn't realize I'd cave so easily.

"Your daughter isn't signing up for the clinic?"

"Well, I'm not sure yet. She just seems so young..."

"That's true, but what if she wants to start lacrosse in second grade, and all the other kids have been doing it for years? She might feel behind."

Knife, insert into heart. Next thing I know, we are at some chi-chi specialty store purchasing hundreds of dollars of equipment for a child who may or may not ever play this sport again. Sticks (one for J, and one for K in case she wants to help J practice), cleats, goggles, mouth guards, socks, shorts, etc. Spending money has never been comfortable for me, but JBL was there to smooth things over, even suggesting I should get myself a new pair of running shoes while we were there. K was encouraging and supportive. "I can't wait to watch you play!" What would I do without these people?

At the first practice, I noted J was one of a handful of kids who didn't have a special carrying case for her stick. I thought to myself how silly that was - a case! - but at the same time struggled with a pang of concern. NO, dammit, it is OK for her to not have every last thing everyone else does. It's not like a new car for your teenager, but it all starts somewhere, doesn't it??

Mentally calmed, I strolled over to another mom watching the girls getting oriented with their new sticks. I looked at her daughter and was struck by something - a change from the beginning of the year.

"Wow," I noted, "Riya is so tall!"

The mom nodded, smiling. And all at once I realized how much time has passed. Last year, I was beside myself with worry about how J would handle kindergarten. But she has done beautifully, and has blossomed in ways I never thought possible. What a milestone!

That thought brought to mind how much J has accomplished between 5 and 6. She now rides a bike without training wheels. She takes showers. She lost her first tooth, had her first bout of the stomach flu, and questioned the existence of Santa Claus. She totally understands strategy in card games, and is thrilled with puns. She has come a long way with swimming, reading and math, and has begun to demonstrate some real artistic ability. Long-gone first days of preschool, riding a two-wheeler, pull-ups, needing help getting dressed or brushing teeth. Barely a distant memory are first teeth, first steps, first words. Amazing. Now what?

Far ahead I see the rest of elementary school, with science projects, field trips and plays. Possibly there is a first crush. Hopefully there are new interests not yet thought of, and good kids that stay friends and look out for each other along the way. It can be hard with girls, I know.

Beyond that is almost impossible to imagine. J as big as K? Past the point of silliness and wiggles at bedtime? Past Nick Jr. and Winnie the Pooh? Beyond the time when there is nothing better than running in the grass with no shoes on? Past the time where even she finds it delightful to rub her plump little belly?

All these changes will come in the blink of an eye, but for now we have a break in the action. It's a delightful place in time.