Space and time

I don't really know what made this pop into my head just now. We have all thought that, if we knew what we know now when we were 17, 24, or even 30, we might have made different (better) decisions. Maybe we think we would have tried harder, or alternately, we may have been more relaxed.

Have you ever thought back to what you expected you would be like at this age when you were 17? I always assumed I would be settled inside, and that I would have all the hallmarks of a true grown-up. Family. Job. Home. But I was also a bit unsure - what if I got things wrong? What if I didn't take care of myself physically? What if I never succeeded, or even found a decent career?

If the 17-year-old 'you' could see you now, would she be proud of what you have done so far? For me, I think the answer would be a hesitant yes. I have had many a cringe-worthy moment in the past, but I am currently sitting in what anyone would deem a comfortable, albeit marginally successful spot. That unsettled inside feeling is still there, but I am fairly confident that this is normal, and perhaps better defined as ambition. It is the feeling of not really being able to be still, isn't it? To keep moving forward.

And what would the 60-year-old me yet-to-come say? Having gone through everything to date, do I know enough about myself to say she will be proud of the (almost) 40-year-old me? Would she say I should relax more, or try harder?

What will your 60-year-old you say about you now?