Doing the right thing

I can't believe I'm still having this mental conversation. What to do with a child who tests the same damn boundaries again and again? Be consistent is the obvious answer. But my GOD I'm sick of this little phase. My lectures are worn out, clearly having no impact. My punishment (taking her sleeping buddy away) seems to always bewilder her. It's like she's just too little to put it all together. But...

Tell J she can play outside with the neighbor's kid - as long as she stays in our front yard -while I'm inside working on a project with K. Where do I find her not 10 minutes later? STANDING ON THE NEIGHBOR KID'S DIVING BOARD ABOVE THEIR UNOPENED POOL.

Tell J she should play in the basement playroom while I'm fixing lunch for her and her schoolmate, and specifically say to stay out of Daddy's office, and what do I find later? She is sitting on her bed with said schoolmate, holding a purse FULL OF KIT KAT BARS, TAKEN FROM DADDY'S STASH IN HIS OFFICE. Well, at least some of them were full bars. THE OTHERS WERE EMPTY WRAPPERS (after she'd been at a school Spring party where they had several treats, in addition to their normal snack). Keep in mind she also knows I have sugar cookies baking in the oven for a special after-lunch treat for her and her guest. Can I possibly say she can no longer have cookies, and yell at her in front of her friend? Of course not.

These are just a few examples of a recent trend. I am so frustrated, I feel like my face is breaking out, and my hair is on fire. Please, God, somebody....I hope this will turn out okay. J can very well listen and do the right thing - as long as it meets with her desires at the moment. If what is right conflicts with her current whim, forget about it. When I tell friends with older kids, they laugh and assure me that J is really a good kid. But, man. What are the right words to say to get through to a 5-year-old when it comes to this? Oh well, at least I didn't scream at her like last time. I still took Bunny away, but I did it very calmly.

This stinks.