Touch

I want to make something today.

I want to feel the sun on my neck and back as I push wheelbarrows full of mulch around the yard. I want to feel soil slip through my fingers. I want to swish water in buckets and feel it dribble down my leg as I pour and walk. I want to wipe sweat off my brow.

I want to carry cushions and arrange furniture. I want to clutch at fruits and vegetables. I want to rub marinades into meats. I want to knead dough and slice things.

I want to light candles and direct symphonies with a remote. I want to hold J and wash her little body and smooth lotion onto her skin. (Do you know what her cheeks feel like in your palms?)

And I will do all these things. Maybe tomorrow I will remember how to draw and paint.