Where

Where are my words? They are there, and there are millions of them. But just now they don't seem to be helping as they have in the past. They can't make JBL trust me, they can't make J and K live their lives without the eggshell-walking stress of my presence, and they can't take me to a place where anxiety doesn't exist. Not just now.

This feeling is pain and powerlessness. I look up and realize I am back in the place where all I want to do is sleep. I'll try breathing exercises again today. And meditating. Is it strange that I immediately follow that thought with, "after I start the movie for J, and get a bit more work done. Oh, and I need to decide what my workout for the day will be..." I have the ability to at least try something. Obviously going going going hasn't helped before, so I have to try...

I take it back. This writing has helped today.